

(I work for a service that answers phones for TV commercials. One commercial in particular is giving us all fits! It is for a cup that freezes sweet liquids into slush-ice. The kids have been calling in, in DROVES, trying to get one. The offer is to be paid with a credit card and you have to be 18 or over to get it. This caller sounds like a five year old.)
Me: “Thank you for calling for [Cup Product]! How may I help you?”
Caller: “Yeah. I wanna [Cup Product] thing.”
Me: “Ma’am, do you have a credit card?”
Caller: “Yeah. It’s 123456789.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but that is not a card number. How old are you?”
Caller: “Uh… I’m a hundred.”
Me: “Ma’am, please get your mommy to come to the phone. If you want a [Cup Product], you have to have an adult with a credit card.”
Caller: *getting crafty* “Uh, well, I already ordered it an’ used my Mommy’s—uh, my card. So, you can send it. Okay?”
Me: “Now look, honey… You need to have an ADULT come to the phone. Go get someone older.”
Caller: “Okay.”
(There is the sound of the receiver being put down, then instantly picked up again. I hear the same voice, now pitched much lower.)
Caller: “Hello? This is my Daddy. Please send me the [Cup Product] thingy, please!”
(Coffee Shop | Virginia, USA)
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
(I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)
Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”
Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”
Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”
(He shakes his head.)
Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”
(I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)
Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”
Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”
Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”
(He shakes his head.)
Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”